I know I am a little late in posting this but...I am going to anyways.
It has been over a month since I dropped Joel off for him to serve his deployment. The first week was torture I said "See ya later" not knowing when that later would be, fortunately for me that would be in 6 days but I did not know that then and the first week was hard...really hard. I couldn't say Good night to end a phone call without bursting into tears, my heart ached at the thought of facing so much time apart. I gave myself that first night to cry and eat junk food and watch girly movies with friends...shortly after I joined the gym because what better way to burn off some nervous energy than at a gym. I love work outs now, I haven't been able to say that in a good couple of years, I think the fact that I have Mrs. Wienke there suffering through the work out rigmarole helps...A-LOT!
When I finally did get to see Joel the following weekend it felt like I hadn't seen him in a good three weeks. I am very lucky to have such an understanding unit that gets the fact these guys need the support and love from the families. I got to see him every weekend this first month, I have never spent so much time in a car by myself...but after all of this I feel much more confident in my road tripping abilities and had only one slightly scary run-in-with-a-homeless-man-at-a-gas-station incident. This was a really nice weening away phase because I always had to mentally prepare myself that I wouldn't see him again so when I would get that late night phone call on Thursday or Friday I was always ecstatic. We called it "bonus time" and it really helped me to think of it that way, I wasn't entitled to see my husband but I was given the opportunity so we always just made the best of whatever last minuteness things we could.
I learned a good deal about myself this first month. I tend to be an independent individual anyways, which is a trait I consider blessed to have because it makes things so much easier...I just viewed things as personal challenges that I was meant to step up and conquer. Mostly my first month conquers were things to do with the car like getting the oil changed, airing up my tires, changing the windshield wiper blades, replacing the headlights etc. I have always leaned on Joel or my dad to do these things that are car related but I am happy to report I am perfectly capable of most, all on my own! I learned I can take multiple 6 hour car trips and navigate quite nicely, I can only take partial credit though because I honestly think that John Mayer and Gavin Degraw helped me keep my sanity. There was one time I took the wrong way home...I still got home but I had to call Joel crying before doing so (no one is perfect). There were just lots of little moments where I thought this is something Joel would do, but I did it this time, and then I did a little victory dance in my head.
I also learned a lot about our marriage. Being apart isn't easy, not being able to talk for more than 5 minutes a day can make it harder. You have to be selfless, understanding, and willing to put in the hard work it takes sometimes to continue to maintain good communication. Going into a deployment with barely two months of marriage under our belt is a challenge, but I know that when we reach the other side of deployment we will have a relationship so much stronger than some that have been together years longer. I am thankful to have a partner who is determined that this experience will strengthen us and not weaken us. Yeah, every day isn't perfect but the ones that aren't you just chalk up to learning a lesson and keep on going. I love Joel more every day, and everyday I see more how God made him perfectly to fit what I needed.
I learned about God...HE IS IN CONTROL. Everyday this first month I woke up praying that God would have control over everything, I put my trust in that, and anything that tempted me to worry throughout the day I let go of because it isn't up to me. There are so very many stories I could tell you about how God has blessed us so far, He truly has His hands even in the little details of life. When you are where you know God wants you to be there is an indescribable peace that comes over you. So I am thankful that God has blessed me in so much, and thankful that I know I am where I am supposed to be.
So big milestone for little Mrs. Ashley...she can now say she's made it one...whole...month!